Marriage prep based on 'Theology of Body'

Catholic Sentinel

December 14, 2007

MOUNT ANGEL — Ruth Kuenzi never thought she'd be married again.

But the widow and mother of five from Mount Angel will walk the aisle Dec. 29 at St. Mary Church here with a man willing to embrace her entire life youthful chaos and all.

But first, Kuenzi and Mike Rava attended a retreat at nearby Father Bernard Youth Center to learn the church's wisdom on marriage and sexuality.

What would a 40-year-old mom of five children (ages 6 through 17) still have to learn? Plenty, she says.

"I had known about some of these things before," Kuenzi says. "But this went deeper and gave a different perspective. Couples came and mentored us. They are good examples."

Kuenzi and Rava learned that married life takes hon­esty, sacrifice, an eye for the other's welfare and, as Kuenzi puts it, "trying to lead each other towards God and a strong spiritual life."

Kuenzi and Rava enjoyed the quiet together and reflected together on their lives.

The retreat was one of the the many fruits of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, a system of thought that emerged in 129 short talks be­tween 1979 and 1984.

November was the month of beginnings for the Joy-Filled Marriage Program at the center. The core of the programs is the Theology of the Body, a response to the sexual revolution of the 1960s. It untwists the counterfeit aspects of "free" sex and asks people to understand sexuality at a new, higher level. Sex is to be understood as loving as God loves not only free, but total, faithful and fruitful.

The first evening, young couples from around the diocese came to the center to take an inventory, the first step of the four part series in the center's marriage preparation program. The inven­tory helps couples begin the discussion of strengths and challenges.

Six trained and expe­rienced teaching couples facilitate a follow up on the results of the inventory with the young couples, says Susie Morris, coordinator for the Joy-Filled Marriage Prepara­tion Program.

The team of teaching couples is one of the unique qualities of the program. They range in married life from four to 31 years, the aim being to bring experience and variety. The variety of­fers excitement on the retreat weekend, the program's sec­ond step in the program. The team presents six talks on the Theology of the Body, called God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage. The talks range in topics from creation to re­demption, honesty before and within marriage and what are you saying "I do" to?

One of the events on the retreat is a romantic candle­lit dinner.

"We want the young cou­ples to know how important marriage is and how sig­nificant they are as a sign of God's love in the world and so the dinner helps set the mood," says Tony Mor­ris, executive director of the center and with Susie, one of the teaching couples. Also included in the weekend is a talk on preparing for recon­ciliation and an opportunity for confession. A eucharistic blessing is given by Deacon Leo Seifer, a team teacher, and concluded with Mass, celebrated by Benedictine Father Philip Waibel.

"The evaluation feedback on the retreat by the. young couples is outstanding," re ports Susie Morris. "To see couples decide to make a deeper commitment to Christ, and to plan on saving sex for after marriage as a result of the class is just so encourag­ing for the church."

The third part of the Joy-Filled Marriage Program is four evening workshops on communication, family of ori­gin, finances and the wedding day. Each workshop begins with a comic skit about a cou­ple that is "communicatively challenged." The couples then dissect the skit and analyze what has gone wrong in the relationship.

The fourth part of the program is Natural Family Planning.

"We are not reinventing the wheel. We are using com­ponents that are tried and true, just presenting them in a new and exciting way to reach the hearts of young peo­ple," says Tony Morris. "We are giving the couples solid teachings of the church in a very palatable way."

Pastors can link into any one of the four parts for their couples or use the entire pro­gram, which was designed to be a flexible, pastorfriendly tool.

"It taught us marriage is not just what we expected it to be," says Anthony Mayer, a heating system worker who will marry Allie Schiedler next August at St. Mary Church in Mount Angel. "It's a lot of getting to know what each other is like and learn­ing each other's habits. And we learned that marriage comes first, before friends and job."

Schiedler, a nurse, and Mayer, who went to Francis­can University in Steuben­ville, Ohio, have been aware of church teaching on sexual­ity. But they appreciate the update and the way the teach­ing couples explained how the prinicples can be applied in daily life.

Mayer and Schiedler, both 21, have agreed on many things, one of the key being that they will take their children to church each week.

The idea of the retreat is to allow couples to explore, ask questions and "decide if they are ready for this," says The­resa Seifer, who with husband Deacon Leo, is a marriage mentor in the program.

The service has helped their own 16-year marriage, the Seifers say.

"It's reminding us about what we've committed to," Theresa explains. "Yes, we have failed at times and fallen and hurt each other, but then there is grace and healing."

For more information about the Father Bernard Youth Center's Joy-Filled Marriage Preparation Pro­gram, visit the website FBYC. info or contact Susie Morris at (503) 949-4047.